


Previews For Other Books That I Write Instead Of Finishing My Other Ones

by MatieskiTheMistake



Category: Original Work
Genre: Help, I Don't Even Know, Other, Sneak peeks?, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatieskiTheMistake/pseuds/MatieskiTheMistake
Summary: The title is... Pretty much all you need to know? I guess? And theyre just prieviews bc I have resolved not to post them until my other works are finished, so this is like my motivation....kinda.
Kudos: 3





	1. T.I.T.S.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I just have in my notes on my phone.
> 
> Did I mention that I only write on my phone?
> 
> ... Thats a very bad habit, I should probably re learn computer keyboards.

**The Trilogy of Idiotic-ness in Thedas, times Six.**

_**A.k.a.; Tits.** _

**DA:OSNS**

"You know, this is really the worst experience I've ever had."

"There are six of us. We could summon the devil. It would be so easy. It could get much worse, much faster."

-

**DA:TMHTLG**

"If I'm you, and you're me.."

" _Then who's driving the cart?_ "

"For the love- **_B_** _lease_ _-"_

-

**DA:IC &C**

"Damn.. This is sad, Alexa, play Despacito-"

"We don't _have_ Alexa, you dim-wit."

"Oh... This is sad, Jace, play Despacito-"

-

A collection of works, featuring six idiotic best friends, who somehow wind up in Thedas, from Origins to Inquisition. They all are in the bodies of the possible Heroes, and desperately try to fuck everything up (the right way), no matter what. (Inqisition has a surprise. Its a good one. I think.)

**Dragon Age: Obviously Somethings Not Straight**

A male elf acrobat, female elf seamstress, gender-fluid human artist, female human physicist, male dwarf muscisian, and female dwarf gamer all take a stroll into Hell.

Actually, they tripped. And fell. Down fourteen flights of stairs. And through a window. Into Thedas. Which was thirty feet below that. And landed on concrete. And were birthed again.

Details, details!

In any case, Marc Tabris, Jacqueline Surana, Panther Amell, Elaine Cousland, Jace Brosca, and Marcella Aeducan are all best friends from Earth, for better... Or worse? Maybe its the last one. Or the first. They haven't quite decided yet. Actually, they won't. They're all indecisive. Oops?

-

**Dragon Age: Two Many Hawkes, Two Little Gays**

The Queer Qrew all back together, and suddenly they're all related. Like... Literally.

This certainly was a suprise, but one they can handle.

Featuring the Great Switcheroo times something million, the guys, gals, and non-conforming pal all skedadle to Kirkwall as all the default Hawkes to adopt as many kids (and sometimes random adults) as they can. Oh, and ruin the multi-verse.

Chaos ensues. Obviously.

-

**Dragon Age: Idiotic Companions and Co. Err-**

Now, the Gang is back together as the Heralds, except they're all very adamant that its Shartan, not Andraste.

Two new Vashoth kiddos join the group, and trail along for the ride that takes up Thedas and a half.

Listen in on the critical Queer Council debates, and how they mostly revolve around popcorn, wine, and who gets to fuck who without angering this person.

Its a time, trust me. (And also please ignore the fact that we desperately try for some linguistical variety, because the dragons were _not_ happy-)


	2. Trouble in Thedas. And his name is not John Cena. (Its Elytrys)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its crack, honestly. Very gay crack.

**The Unfortunate Life and Journalings of One (1) Earth Memer in Thedas**

_The cover has the title imprinted in a neat, uniform script of red lettering. The leather is worn, but well cared for. The pages are slightly uneven from use, but otherwise the same size throughout the book. The first page holds an_ _inscription in sprawling, loopy leters that shift away from the eye, more neat than the following pages, and reads:_

_If you can read this, I strongly advise against it. No offense, but... Yeah. Anyway, welcome to my shitshow of life in Hell- I mean Thedas, of course. Hang on for the Gay ride, journal-reader._

_My goal? Fuck all the hot guys I can, before I inevitably die b/c of a demon. (And squish Lace and Cole's cheeks, of course.)_

**The Even More Moronic and Unfortunate Livings and Friendships of the Earth-Speakers in Thedas; Starring Elytrys and Company.**

_Welcome to thedas, yadda yadda yadda. The good part this time? Its not a summarized crack fic, oh no. Its a speech heavy, 'Hey, Eli, you forgot to write about this so I'll just chuck it in here!' Fic that nobody asked for, but I wanted._

_Also known as: The Even More Moronic and Unfortunate Livings and Friendships of Earth-Speakers in Thedas._

_To shorten it? TEMMUL-FEST. (Also sometimes called The Robust, Outstanding, Unfortunate, and Bleary Lives from Earth in Thedas AKA, TROUBLE in T. Its a joke, get it? Trouble in tea? Oh, never mind.)_


	3. Merida. In Thedas. But shes not the one youre thinking of-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My bb- my gey bb! She get!! The booty!!!

**Merida in Thedas. Praise be Gay.**

'Fuck. 

I guess that would be an adequate thing to say about... Well, everything. It certainly doesnt cover all of it (like my tits, for example), but it works well in almost any occasion.'

Fun Fact! Merida is gay. And her name is actually Merideth, but nobody actually pays attention to that. (Other than Mister Commander 'Yes I will stare at your shirtless chest as you clutch an unconsious child to it, yes Ma'am', but we ignore him. Most of the time.)

So, bright red hair, Dwarven Features, Qunari Horns, Elvhen ears, and a human stature combine to form the most formidable gay force on the planet. And thats only because she can't be on multiple.

... Or can she? Nah, I'm just kidding.

... Or am I?


	4. Some Chaotic Being

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a fucking TIME, bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay chaos as we know it.

**The Memer of Twighlight**

So, what happened was, a simple fifteen year old trans boy from 2020 gets transported back into 2005, and was apparently born fifteen years before that.

Its wild.

Bella Swan was stillborn, and him, the child from one year later, concieved because SOMEONE cheated on her husband. So, he grows up in her stead (with the right parts!), and confuses the fuck out of people while doing it.

Join Damien Swan as he muddies up the water with as many gay memes as possible, while being the complete opposite of a shield.

(Ft. The Big Gay, if it wasn't already mentioned.)


End file.
